Lost in Translation? You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet!

March saw an engaging and amusing (yet ultimately unemployable) Russian sign writer, Vladimir, turn up at the Appointments Bi-Language offices, smiling broadly, pleading with us to give him a chance as an ‘International Sign Translation Specialist’. Hmm…

The poor chap had traipsed all the way across Europe from the remote Russian village of Verkhoyansk (that’s right; it’s the same village that made the news recently after being surrounded by a ‘super-pack’ of wolves).

Somehow Vladimir had evaded the snarling beasts, and, clutching his sign writing ‘box of Twix’ (his words), legged it to safety. He then trudged through deep snow for weeks, his determination to reach London never waning.

Alas, when he finally arrived at our offices for his interview, his recently translated Russian portfolio (“Just for us!”) was, well, a bit of a worry:

Sign 1: From a Moscow pub – ‘Ladies are Requested Not to Have Children in the Bar’

Sign 2: From a St. Petersburg Dentists – ‘Teeth Extracted By the Latest Methodists’

Sign 3: From an Aeroflot poster – ‘We Take Your Bags and Send Them in All Directions’

Sign 4: From a Novosibirsk hotel – ‘You Are Invited to Take Advantage of the Chambermaid’

And, believe it or not, it gets worse:

Sign 5: From a Vladivostok cemetery – ‘You Are Welcome to Visit the Cemetery Where Famous Russian Composers, Artists and Writers Are Buried Daily, Except Tuesday’

Sign 6: From an Ekaterinburg restaurant menu – ‘Our Vodka Leaves You Nothing to Hope For’

And finally…

Sign 7: From a Kazan theatre – ‘If This is Your First Visit to the Theatre, You are Welcome to it’

You can see our problem. He was such a nice lad, so keen, so determined… But translators who find work through the Appointments Bi-Language Translation Division have to be the very best; they must be:

• Fully referenced
• Qualified
• Experienced
• Highly capable
• Contactable
• Able to work to quick turnaround times

We always aim to work with translators we’ve worked with before, and we can also provide qualified interpreters at short notice. 

Is that what you’re looking for?


P.S. Need something translated FAST? Click here to access our contact form.